What must I do to have my Dell Inspiron replaced new?

I paid well over a thousand dollars for a new Dell Inspiron laptop. I paid for their extended warranty and insurance.

My laptop started malfunctioning about a month ago, I took it to where I bought it, (Staples), they directed me to contact the insurance company. The insurance company told me it was still 'new' and to contact Dell.

After several weeks with Dell Support - 2 logon's from support and then 1 shipment to Dell. The laptop is still nonfunctional.

I called Dell again and they want me to send the laptop back for another evaluation. And I am furious. When the laptop returned early today it came with a letter stating it had been thoroughly tested and certified. I find this hard to believe as if it had actually been turned on Dell would have seen, I can still not logon. The keyboard does not work, the touch screen works for less than a split second - not even long enough for me to enter my 4 digit code.

I am at my last straw. I am going to write poor reviews everywhere that I can if I do not receive a working laptop within the next couple of days.

Note: I have been on hold for 54 minutes just waiting for a new service ticket number to have my laptop sent back, eating up my phone time.... unable to get work accomplished as I have NO WORKING LAPTOP

I will say this, this is the very last Dell product I will buy.