Brand new XPS 13 9350 keeps crashing...

My new XPS 13 is basically just an expensive brick at the moment due to how often it crashes.

What happens?

BSOD, sometimes a weird BSOD with distorted colors. 

When does it happen?

- When waking the computer from sleep (most often)

- When idle (a little more rare).

Additional details, flaws and general symptoms:

The computer is quite new and has only been used for educational work (light programming and writing documents). The possibility of malware is pretty much nonexistent. The computer performs poorly compared to other models I've used with identical processors. Thermal throttling is also a somewhat common problem with this computer, and the CPU is often working too hard when idle despite neither malware or other background applications (except from the Dell bloatware) being present. 

The computer suffers from frequent coil whine and "buzzing", especially when scrolling or touching the screen.

I don't know if it's relevant, but it's all the problems I'm having with the computer at the moment, whether they're related or not I don't know. I added them in case the minidump might tell something.

Analyzed minidump from WinDbg:

Microsoft (R) Windows Debugger Version 10.0.14321.1024 AMD64
Copyright (c) Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.

Loading Dump File [C:\Users\marth\Desktop\122816-9062-01.dmp]
Mini Kernel Dump File: Only registers and stack trace are available

Symbol search path is: srv*
Executable search path is:
Windows 10 Kernel Version 14393 MP (4 procs) Free x64
Product: WinNt, suite: TerminalServer SingleUserTS Personal
Built by: 14393.576.amd64fre.rs1_release_inmarket.161208-2252
Machine Name:
Kernel base = 0xfffff802`40c14000 PsLoadedModuleList = 0xfffff802`40f19060
Debug session time: Wed Dec 28 00:51:05.613 2016 (UTC + 1:00)
System Uptime: 4 days 21:22:22.080
Loading Kernel Symbols
.

Press ctrl-c (cdb, kd, ntsd) or ctrl-break (windbg) to abort symbol loads that take too long.
Run !sym noisy before .reload to track down problems loading symbols.

..............................................................
................................................................
................................................................
...........
Loading User Symbols
Loading unloaded module list
..................................................
*******************************************************************************
* *
* Bugcheck Analysis *
* *
*******************************************************************************

Use !analyze -v to get detailed debugging information.

BugCheck 5C, {110, ffffffffffd01000, 2a, 13d8}

Probably caused by : ntkrnlmp.exe ( nt!ExNotifyWithProcessing+a9 )

Followup: MachineOwner
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2: kd> !analyze -v
*******************************************************************************
* *
* Bugcheck Analysis *
* *
*******************************************************************************

HAL_INITIALIZATION_FAILED (5c)
Arguments:
Arg1: 0000000000000110
Arg2: ffffffffffd01000
Arg3: 000000000000002a
Arg4: 00000000000013d8

Debugging Details:
------------------

DUMP_CLASS: 1

DUMP_QUALIFIER: 400

BUILD_VERSION_STRING: 10.0.14393.576 (rs1_release_inmarket.161208-2252)

SYSTEM_MANUFACTURER: Dell Inc.

SYSTEM_PRODUCT_NAME: XPS 13 9350

SYSTEM_SKU: 0704

BIOS_VENDOR: Dell Inc.

BIOS_VERSION: 1.4.10

BIOS_DATE: 10/12/2016

BASEBOARD_MANUFACTURER: Dell Inc.

BASEBOARD_PRODUCT: 07TYC2

BASEBOARD_VERSION: A01

DUMP_TYPE: 2

BUGCHECK_P1: 110

BUGCHECK_P2: ffffffffffd01000

BUGCHECK_P3: 2a

BUGCHECK_P4: 13d8

CPU_COUNT: 4

CPU_MHZ: 960

CPU_VENDOR: GenuineIntel

CPU_FAMILY: 6

CPU_MODEL: 4e

CPU_STEPPING: 3

CPU_MICROCODE: 6,4e,3,0 (F,M,S,R) SIG: 9E'00000000 (cache) 9E'00000000 (init)

CUSTOMER_CRASH_COUNT: 1

DEFAULT_BUCKET_ID: WIN8_DRIVER_FAULT

BUGCHECK_STR: 0x5C

PROCESS_NAME: System

CURRENT_IRQL: 0

ANALYSIS_SESSION_HOST: DESKTOP-55NL92K

ANALYSIS_SESSION_TIME: 12-28-2016 03:55:17.0906

ANALYSIS_VERSION: 10.0.14321.1024 amd64fre

LAST_CONTROL_TRANSFER: from fffff802414553a5 to fffff80240d5e6f0

STACK_TEXT:
ffff8280`8b183a38 fffff802`414553a5 : 00000000`0000005c 00000000`00000110 ffffffff`ffd01000 00000000`0000002a : nt!KeBugCheckEx
ffff8280`8b183a40 fffff802`40c1f0d9 : ffffd300`49aa98b0 00000000`00000000 00000000`00000000 00000000`00000000 : hal!HalpPowerStateCallback+0xb4e5
ffff8280`8b183a80 fffff802`40fe2f47 : ffffd300`5965c7c0 fffff802`40fe2f20 fffff802`40f14c40 fffff802`40fd1280 : nt!ExNotifyWithProcessing+0xa9
ffff8280`8b183ad0 fffff802`40cab1b9 : fffff802`40fd1100 fffff802`40f14ea0 fffff802`00000000 ffffd300`57a7fc60 : nt!PopUnlockAfterSleepWorker+0x27
ffff8280`8b183b00 fffff802`40c16729 : 00000000`00000000 00000000`00000080 ffffd300`49a9b640 ffffd300`5965c7c0 : nt!ExpWorkerThread+0xe9
ffff8280`8b183b90 fffff802`40d63bb6 : ffff8280`827cb180 ffffd300`5965c7c0 fffff802`40c166e8 ffffe586`383b8150 : nt!PspSystemThreadStartup+0x41
ffff8280`8b183be0 00000000`00000000 : ffff8280`8b184000 ffff8280`8b17d000 00000000`00000000 00000000`00000000 : nt!KiStartSystemThread+0x16

STACK_COMMAND: kb

THREAD_SHA1_HASH_MOD_FUNC: 043b7f49f694fb2548cf5964b75c90021a688cad

THREAD_SHA1_HASH_MOD_FUNC_OFFSET: deca708a18d6d740915ae7a982474aa77c4ee6ff

THREAD_SHA1_HASH_MOD: 726a27307ffb250666920fe707564125d5611bbd

FOLLOWUP_IP:
nt!ExNotifyWithProcessing+a9
fffff802`40c1f0d9 488b5720 mov rdx,qword ptr [rdi+20h]

FAULT_INSTR_CODE: 20578b48

SYMBOL_STACK_INDEX: 2

SYMBOL_NAME: nt!ExNotifyWithProcessing+a9

FOLLOWUP_NAME: MachineOwner

MODULE_NAME: nt

IMAGE_NAME: ntkrnlmp.exe

DEBUG_FLR_IMAGE_TIMESTAMP: 584a77f6

IMAGE_VERSION: 10.0.14393.576

BUCKET_ID_FUNC_OFFSET: a9

FAILURE_BUCKET_ID: 0x5C_HAL_TIMER_INITIALIZATION_FAILURE_nt!ExNotifyWithProcessing

BUCKET_ID: 0x5C_HAL_TIMER_INITIALIZATION_FAILURE_nt!ExNotifyWithProcessing

PRIMARY_PROBLEM_CLASS: 0x5C_HAL_TIMER_INITIALIZATION_FAILURE_nt!ExNotifyWithProcessing

TARGET_TIME: 2016-12-27T23:51:05.000Z

OSBUILD: 14393

OSSERVICEPACK: 576

SERVICEPACK_NUMBER: 0

OS_REVISION: 0

SUITE_MASK: 784

PRODUCT_TYPE: 1

OSPLATFORM_TYPE: x64

OSNAME: Windows 10

OSEDITION: Windows 10 WinNt TerminalServer SingleUserTS Personal

OS_LOCALE:

USER_LCID: 0

OSBUILD_TIMESTAMP: 2016-12-09 10:23:02

BUILDDATESTAMP_STR: 161208-2252

BUILDLAB_STR: rs1_release_inmarket

BUILDOSVER_STR: 10.0.14393.576

ANALYSIS_SESSION_ELAPSED_TIME: 4f4

ANALYSIS_SOURCE: KM

FAILURE_ID_HASH_STRING: km:0x5c_hal_timer_initialization_failure_nt!exnotifywithprocessing

FAILURE_ID_HASH: {7848409c-f593-85d5-9f4a-c9363e463e30}

Followup: MachineOwner
---------