Broken customer service and a Broken computer

To whom it may concern at the Myriad that is Dell,

Hi Dell,

I received my Inspiron laptop 15R 5537 in January. The computer is (or was)  worth more than 1000$ at the time of purchase. But the machine has never functioned properly, why sell a product that doesn't work?

At that point I decided to be fair, and contacted customer support to help resolve the multitude of issues my computer was having. The customer service was very kind and 'professional' following the standard help list that Dell provides. But for some reason they were never able to resolve my issues. The conversations I had on the phone would have me transferred back and forth for over 4 hours between 'software' and 'hardware', each support group placing the computer's problems on the other. All the drivers were updated, the suggested bios was in place,  (I even gave them remote control of my machine to fix the issues) etc etc, but no luck. In vein I tried explaining to customer support that, "it was not their fault", but rather I tried to explain to them that Dell has sold me a machine whose system hardware, along with Dell's system software and driver's, in combination with the bios, makes for an incompatible product. This fell upon deaf ears, but with a professional customer service response of "we understand". 

Dell eventually sent me a box to return the computer in and have the logic board replaced. This was relatively painless. I got the computer back 3 days later, and began the arduous reinstallation of critical updates for windows 8 and subsequently the free upgrade to Windows 8.1 and again all the critical updates necessary to properly get the computer up and running.

At this point I was wavering between optimism and disillusionment, the windows 8.1 update was installed and windows asked me to reboot the system. Everything seemed good.  I tested the previous problems I was having, and some of the issues seemed to be resolved, but not all of them. I took to downloading the Drivers suggested by Dell to have an 'optimal' running machine. With the driver's downloaded and installed Windows 8.1 asked me to restart my computer, which I did. At this point Disillusionment and a harsh critic with a few choice words were sent resonating around my room, the message on the screen read: "No bootable device".

Back to technical support I went. This time I spent 3 hours on the phone, and was made to try and fix the problem myself by taking of the back of the computer and unplugging the SSD Hardrive.

"Will my guarantee be void if I do this?" I asked.

"No, no we are recoding our conversation, everything is ok." was the technicians reply.

To no avail the computer was out of commission. I was told that a technician was going to come to my door and fix the problems personally within 2 to 3 business days. Its been 8 days and I am still waiting on that call.

I have contacted Dell numerous times by way of email conversations. I am now conversing with 4 separate Dell technical support techs, all giving me different advice. The only question I could ask was, "Why Dell, why do you make life so hard?"

So I sent them an email asking weather or not the technician was coming after waiting 8 days( when I was told 2 to 3 business days", I asked:

"Hey Dell,

The last response I got was from Darlene:

"Thank you for the response. I do apologize but you need to transfer the ownership of the system first.

If we were to proceed with the dispatch, invoices related to it would be sent to the sales partner, and not to you.

Here is the website so you can transfer the ownership to your name:

http://www.dell.com/support/retail/us/en/19/ownershiptransfer/IdentifySystem

Kindly reply to this email once the transfer of ownership is already done.

Darlene

Am I confused? Or am I getting a variety of mixed messages? I don't want to sell my computer, I want it fixed or replaced maybe a refund at this point. Why do I have to transfer ownership, and I didn't Dell tell me this before, are they stalling? What is going on at Dell?

List of Issues (resolved and unresolved):

1) Static sound from the Sound Card: (Not resolved)

2) System unresponsive after waking for sleep or hibernate mode: ( More responsive, but not completely resolved)

3) Dell Quickset mobility centre unresponsive after waking from sleep mode: (Resolved)

4) Customer Service confused and convoluted while not having the ways or means to properly help Dell customers: (Unresolved)