DFS Verification Services - I just don't understand

So here is my story and I am completely lost as far as what to do now.

This christmas I decided to upgrade my laptop to the Dell Inspiron 7000 (7559) and opted for the 4k screen, dell offered me 12 months no interest and I decided to take advantage of their financing and went ahead with the order.  The day the laptop was set to arrive my local police department showed up at my door and said that a package was arriving that had been ordered using someone else's name.  I told him I ordered the laptop and printed out the order page, showed him my ID and my account online proving I ordered it.  Seemed weird so I called DFS and informed them of the situation and asked for a pin or password to be put on my account to make sure only I can access it, the representative said that they could be a hold on the account and that I would have to call in the next time I wanted to use it.  That sounded fine and I approved them to do so, this was the worst mistake I have ever made!

After the laptop arrived I noticed the screen seemed off and did some research online and found out that they weren't using a true 4k screen and were using some software tricks to give the increased resolution.  I decided to return the laptop (shipped it back today) and order the newer model which released yesterday, when I went to order the new laptop I called into DFS like I was supposed to and they said they needed to send me a text to verify who I was.  I said great and they said they were going to send a text to **** number, well I haven't had that phone number is 4+ years and I don't even know how they got it.  I tell them I don't have that number and I get put on hold, rep comes back and tells me to wait for further verification.  I ask what that means wait for wait a phone call?? a letter?? a magic fairy?? (I was getting pretty upset by this point)  He just kept saying I needed to wait and they couldn't tell me anything else.  Upset I thank him for nothing and hang up, I should have been more polite but I was very upset at this point.  

Anyway I called back today now that I was calmer and tried to clear this up and the lady says she can text another number, i'm like great what is it and she gives me my old work number from 4+ years ago.  Fine, at least I still know the people there and I call them and tell them to expect a text.  A few minutes later she tells me oh sorry we can't do that you will have to wait for further verification!  (What the heck does that even mean?!) I ask for a supervisor and they transfer me to which I try and explain the situation to much the same result except I do find out that they use a public records search to verify information and that is where they got the phone number from.

So two days and I am no closer to accessing my account and still have questions!

• Why don't they use the information I gave when I opened my account?
• How do I know they are going to be able to contact me when they are using information from half a decade ago?
• Why can't i use my DL or SSN or other means to verify my identity?
• What the *** am I supposed to do now?  I have no laptop, and can't use my account to order another one.

As it stands now I hate Dell, this is a nightmare and I just want to be done with it, at this point I almost want to just close the account and go buy something else as this isn't worth the hassle.   Though I couldn't even close my account due to this stupid verification thing.  I did a google search and see that this is a pretty common thing, it is just so frustrating!