I bought a printer today for a christmas present. Imagine how thrilled I was when I discovered that Dell can deliver to a different address to what it is being billed at. As the billing address is different to the delivery address I assumed that the bills would go to the billing address. Then I recieved an email from Dell to my email address but named for the guy who I am giving the present to. It said "Your invoice will arrive within the next two weeks or ALTERNATIVELY account holders with Dell may access the following site to download a copy of your invoice" This had me worried because it was addressed to my friend and it is a christmas present so I do not want him to know what was paid. If he spends less than me he will feel guilty and if he spends more he will think I am tight fisted and that is not what you want at Christmas. So as I am registered with Dell I thought I would ask about "Alternatively account holders with Dell may access the following site to download a copy of your invoice".

So I used Dell Chat. I thought it was a simple enough question but how wrong can I be?

I asked "The completed order says ....'it includes Dell V313W printer order- United Kingdom'. Does that mean it shows the price paid because it is a present and I don't want the price shown?

 His reply was :- Well it shows the price on the printer! I am sorry it cannot be removed from it. So I asked "What do you mean it shows the price on the printer? His reply was:- Yes it does show the price on the screen but not on the printer when we deliver it. The price will not be shown on the printer when we deliver it. You can only see the price on the invoice of the order only.

 Eh? I thought! He has completely contradicted himself here in the first two sentences. So I was still none the wiser. Added to that He has given the gem "You can only see the price on the invoice of the order only." As I made the order and have recieved it electronically I felt a little bit better but wanted to make sure because I at this stage didn't have much confidence in him.

 So I said "You said well it shows the price on the printer and now you say it doesn't. The invoice is electronic isn't it? Or is it packed with the printer? To which he replied "It shows online on the web page what I mean to say. When you place the order the price will not be there on the printer. You can gift it as a present to your dear ones!"

This of course made me feel better but still didn't have any confidence in him so reiterated the question again to make sure. I asked "I am going to give the printer as a present and not the web page" (thought I had better state the obvious here). So am I correct in assuming there will be NO invoice packed with the printer? He replied "You can get the invoice at your billing address and shipping address will be delivered only the printer" Well thats all I wanted to know. How would you all take that response?

 But I thought I had better just make sure, just in case because this guy had contradicted himself so many times. So I asked what I thought would be the final question just to reaffirm what he had told me. I asked "So the invoice won't go to the shipping address?" His reply was amazing. He said "It will go to the delivery address but not the shipping address"

You can't be serious I thought. The delivery address and the shipping address are one in the same. So getting slightly irritated by this stage I stated " I am confused again. The delivery address is the shipping address. It is the billing address which is different. So your answer makes no sense again I am afraid." So he repled "Oh Sorry, in that case you will definately get the invoice of the order. The price would be shown on the order."

 This was again a pointless answer. I know I will get the invoice. I can even get it electronically. But would my friend who I am giving the present to? So I thought I would just be as basic as I could. I stated "You still haven't given me my answer" He replied "I thought you were gifting to other person who is not at billing address?" This made me feel a bit better because I now knew that he had understood what I was doing and had previously stated the price would not be on the printer and I could send it as a gift to dear ones.

 I replied "I am" to reaffirm he was on the right lines. He then said " As you said the billing and shipping is the same" "We would definately send the invoice to the billing address. " Oh no I thought. I have never said that or ever even asked what goes to the billing address. So again confidence was lost and I stated "No I didn't! You said it would go to the delivery address but not the shipping address. I said they are one in the same. I said the billing address was different. The delivery address is the shipping address because it is shipped to be delivered. The billing address is different because that is where it is paid from."

Then to bamboozle me even further he said " Yes I have understood your query" Finally we confirm that there will be an invoice sent to the billing address" You have to be kidding me I thought. Still no answer to my question but again with the billing address.

So I lost my patience with the guy and said "I know I will get an invoice because it is me that has paid for it and so invoice is always available electronically anyhow. That is not my concern! I never once asked about the billing address you brought that up" Then he contradicted himself again and threw this curve ball. "There would be invoice in the box aswell, with the list of items when we deliver it at the shipping address as well."

 No way has he just said that I thought. This guy is truly unbelievable. So I said "So the price I paid will be shown on the box? I can hardly send it to my dear ones then can I? His reply :- Yes, the price will be shown on the box. We do not have the option to deliver it without the price.

 So to further reiterate my point, just in case he had again got it completely wrong, I stated the obvious again. I said "Thats no good. I don't want to give a present which shows how much I have paid because if they have spent less on me for a present they will feel guilty and if they have spent more they will think me frugal. This means I would have had to get it delivered to the billing address, open it, take out the invoice and once it is opened it is no longer new and I dcan't give an opened prsent. I will just have to buy a printer from Argos or Tesco's because their boxes are unopened and their invoices are seperate.

To which he replied "Well its a good option to go to in that case."

Can anyone make any sense of this? He has after all said two completely different things for the same question. How would you take it?

So because he has said the opposite things on a consistent basis I decided to phone them.

I explained my problem and they hung up.  Yeah thats right they actually hung up.

So I phoned again and this time kept it really simple, really really simple as you would with a child.

I said "Does an invoice go to both the delivery address and billing address if the billing address is different to the delivery address?

She wouldn't answer.  Kept asking for my customer number.  I said I didn't want to know about my account or my product so the information is unnecessary and will only lead to more confusion.  (lets face it, they are easily confused).  Surely the right department is the one which can answer such a simple question?

You can't tell me this isn't a common question with Christmas coming up.   Who wants the person you are giving a gift to, to know the price you have paid?

Seriously, you would think I had asked them to define existence the way they are carrying on.

I will be cancelling the order.  I mean, can you imagine if you actually had a fault with your product?  If they can't answer a simple question like this how could you have faith they could even switch on a plug never mind fix something.