Follow up question - what is the standard return window?

Where did you get the backorder information from?  Are there any other delays going on at the moment that you know of?  

Yes, I stated that I was told that in my post above.

So... how many returns do I get before Dell has a problem with me 

They are not sold separately. Only way to get them is to order a system with it.

Dameon2k, during order process before checkout it will give estimated ship date. That is the only way to harvest stock expectation dates.

I want to chime in on something here regarding my first and second comment about returning and re-ordering. Those comments are made from a perspective of frustration, disappointment, and feeling inflexibility and resistance from Dell.

I understand if they allowed orders it would be difficult to prioritize new sales vs existing current buyers vs previous sales wanting upgrades. 

I felt that without further offering some insight people would be inclined to discount my plea for help as another self-entitled american who is selfish and impatient. I am not - tho it may seem that way - I am actually attempting to encourage Dell to reconsider their position on offering after sale support and upgrades due to their supply chain management. They have options available to them. So do I. So I can use my options and cause financial loss and inconvenience and wasted labor and shipping, or they can use theirs and provide reasonable upgrade options for a price, at time of sale or within a window after sale for users who decide they need more then a 3070 but dont want to return the whole system... which right now IS THE CASE.

I have gpus available to me because of unlimited funds and persistence in monitoring supply and availability and spending ALOT of time acquiring cards one at a time. Others do not have the luxury of placing an order today and waiting TWO MONTHS for it to deliver (while paying those two months on their financing with no product received mind you!)  Or having a 3090 on hand to "see if it will fit". 

My frustration with the limited options IS REASONABLE. Even if you feel you could settle on the 6900xt instead of the 3090 to get it quicker... I am willing to pay for BOTH. The 6900xt now, AND full price for the 3090 for two months from now delivery.

Give me some options!!!

F34R, That is REALLY good information! Thank you for such outstanding details. I have hopes of making this 3090 work after all!

@BlakeThoennes the only thing I'd be concerned about is the thermals.  The plastic see-through panel can get very warm lol.  I'd hate to melt the case.

I have enough money to just keep buying and returning Alienware R13 computers to stay within return window until the 3090 R13 ships.
* I don't understand your thought process. Seems like a waste of your time. The sales site clearly states that if you choose the RTX 3090, "GET IT AS SOON AS SATURDAY, APR 30". So why buy the Aurora R13 now without the RTX 3090? Then return it.

So I can use my options and cause financial loss and inconvenience and wasted labor and shipping.
* A single or multiple purchase/return or purchase/cancel is not a financial loss to Dell. They would be out, then back, then sold again or ordered/cancelled, reordered by someone else.

The OEM RTX 3090 part number 869P4 does show as "not for sale" as a stand alone purchase. Why, because any that we do get from the manufacturer first go to whole system (Aurora R13, Aurora R14, XPS 8950) purchases in the queue. Cancelling the order and reordering simply places you at the end of the queue.