bluetooth multipoint connection problem

I have a multipoint capable bluetooth headset (can connect to two devices).  the headset is paired to both my laptop and cell phone.  my cell phone automatically connects whenever in range of the headset.  the laptop does not.  what's worse is, when i click connect (laptop is showing as paired to the headset), i get an error message "that didn't work".  the only way to connect is to go to the cell phone, disconnect the headset, go back to laptop and connect, then go back to cell and connect.  why does the laptop have to be first?  why can't it auto connect like the cell phone?  i have spent HOURS trying to figure this out online.  any help would be greatly appreciated!