$700 DSL modem and 2 compters

This is kind of brezzy but I'll try to be to the point.  I've got phone company DSL external modem and two computers.  So I want to LAN.  Now keep in mind my computer knowledge is being able to tell an RJ plug from a phone plug.  Only cause one is bigger than the other.  One of the phone company reps told me I needed a "switch".  Ok, I bought a Linskys switch.  Well of course that didn't work cause a lady in "Manila", told me that switches don't assign IP numbers.  She told me I needed a router.  So, I bought a Linskys router.  Well when I went to hook it up I found that the phone company had the modem hooked up through the USB port on the back of my machine. So I couldn't hook it up.  But on the back of the phone company modem there is and ethernet plug.  So I tried to run from modem ethernet to the back of my machine ethernet.  Well; that didn't work cause some lady in upstate New York told me my ethernet card was bad or my driver set up was bad.  Go in and check that or change some of my registry settings.  Or; if I wanted they could supply me with a certified phone company router which I could rent for and additional fee of 5 or 6 dollars per month.

 

Now somehow I get a bad feeling about this.  I'm 62 years old; so I figure at that rate their modem would have cost me somewhere in the neighborhood of $700.  So: what's  the deal.  My only source of help face to face is our Radio Shack.  But I live in a very small town.  Our Radio Shak also sells;  refrigerators, stoves, ovens and mattresses.  So go figure the quality of that advice.

 

Thanks to anybody took time to read this.  I know I gloss over these big ones when I see them on the forums.  If you are so kind as to reply just be brief.  I don't wanna bug you.  Southern Illinois.