• it's mixed with the old ones I also tried using just the new ones that didn't work the only thing for it to work is to put itnto sleep instead of shutting down

These systems are very limited when it comes to aftermarket memory support.

Also, are you mixing ram stick with the original ram, or are these all new ram sticks?

I guess thats a compatibility issue with aftermarket memory. The auroras are very picky with aftermarket memory. If you want to be absolute save you will have to use oem-memory only. Very limited aftermarket ram-modules will work with no issues. Crucial/Micron is reported to work in most cases. I use Crucial/Micron RAM in my R10 and works fine. Also take a look at the timings and speed, the oem-memory is limited to quite slow timings.

Yes, then its the aftermarket-ram-problem for sure.

so there isn't any other ways to get around it without getting ram that works with it

You cannot mix and match memory modules from different manufacturers. You can also not mix and match different sizes memory modules.

The issue you are having with just the new memory is the limited aftermarket support these systems have.

The only guaranteed memory to work is the OEM memory.

but then when I change them it bypasses whatever is making it not work and it shows the new ram is working fine and I have the 32 extra gigs 

I'm using this ram Corsair Vengeance RGB Pro 32GB 3200MHz

ok

Try these: CRUCIAL BALLISTIX BL2K16G32C16U4R Its also a 3200MHz Kit. 

One thing I noticed we I upgrade from 32 GB to 64 GB memory is that you should insert memory sticks in a certain order otherwise R8 won't boot and only give blinking error messages indicated a memory model error. Basically those black (SLOT 2 and 4) and white (SLOT 1 and 3) slots should have RAM sticks of DIFFERENT batches installed. For example, I purchase two Kinston 16G two years ago and another two Kinston 16G this year. They are by the same manufacturer and of the same model. But they are slightly different still (I noticed after I check their detailed parameters in HWiNFO). So the way to install them correctly should be Slot 1: Old memory, Slot 2: Old memory, Slot 3: New memory, Slot 4: New memory. 

Assuming you haven't fixed the problem I would recommend this:

Download CPU-Z and under the SPD tab notice WHO made your memory that was working (original).

If your 3rd party is the same DRAM mfg you are doing ok ...if not your in uncharted territory...

I can tell you from experience YOU CAN mix sizes and its called FLEX mode, HOWEVER, Dell is very picky as may other MFG may or may not be...

I would recommend you try the replacement RAM 1st in Slots 1&3 and your older RAM in 2&4...at least put the pairs in the same color slots. Experiment and even do OPPOSITE of what I said...whatever works...its works...as long as its reliable you got your wish...

Also as you may or may not know the timing/CL/etc matter...

The stock answer is you SHOULD have ALL of the same sticks...reality is life isnt black n white but shades of gray...

You have 4 slots...compare the specs of the memory and if they are not in the ball park your asking for headaches...  HOWEVER you could barter/resell to get the same brand/etc...

I would argue DELL is more strict (aka more unforgiving) than maybe a straight up MB mfg...One person called it the DELL tax and I am starting to agree...

V/R

JohnFLEX MODE

I got new ram that was compatible from crucial but it's not working so in stumped

Crucial says it is compatible, but in many cases it is not.

I have seen it list many "compatible" sticks. I would not go by Crucial and instead go by the threads on this forum from other users on what is known to work.

For example, I have seen this as listed compatible for the Aurora Ryzen edition: DDR4 PC4-35200 • 19-19-19-43 • Unbuffered • NON-ECC • DDR4-4400 • 1.4V • 2048Meg x 64 •

I can assure you that is not compatible at all.