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You need DDR3 or DDR3L SODIMM memory. The Crucial 1866Mhz DDR3L memory is pretty decent. 2133Mhz will work but it tends to be more expensive than it's worth. 2x8gb sticks will be enough but you can go for 4x8gb if you really want to, not required for most people though. 

Your CPU can be upgraded to a 3920/3940XM

You GPU can be upgraded to a GTX 1060 or 1070 if you have the 120Hz 3D Display or the GTX 980M if you have the 60Hz Display. You can upgrade the display if you want to go to the 10 series cards. An unlocked BIOS and modded driver is required for most GPU upgrades. 

thats very helpful cheers, im looking to buy parts and then have them installed. I want at least 8gb ram preferably 16. Could you make a list of everything that would be required? 

What upgrades do you want to make? You can get someone to install them for you but it really isn't that hard to do it yourself if you watch a few videos and take your time. 

Im mechanically minded so im sure i could figure it out tbh. I want to upgrade ram and thats more or less it. But if theres reasonably priced parts that would help make your pc run a bit faster id do those too. Is it as simple as buying the correct ram sticks and plugging them in?

Yeah basically it's that simple. You have to get SODIMM DDR3 or DDR3L memory. The SODIMM means it's laptop memory which is very different to desktop memory.

There are two slots that are easy to get to by opening the bottom cover. The other two slot are under the keyboard. All you have to do is find the 5 screw holes marked with an I under the bottom cover. This releases the keyboard bezel that contains the power button and media buttons. It can be tricky to remove it the first time so just use a plastic pry tool to gently lift it away from the palmrest assembly. I start from the top right corner and work down and around. Don't yank it away as you may break some plastic retaining clips and the cable that powers the buttons. The clips around the hinges are the hardest to free up the first time but just take your time. Then there are 5 small screws that hold the keyboard down. There are two fragile ribbon cables attaching the keyboard, the smaller one being for the RGB. You may be able to move the keyboard out of the way without unplugging the cables but I always just remove it. There will then be an aluminium plate that protects the two additional RAM slots. 

EDIT: As far as the CPU is concerned, you can upgrade easily to the 3740QM but your machine will most likely only have a single pipe CPU heatsink. You are best to upgrade to the 2 pipe heatsink for a 3840QM and you definitely need the 2 pipe for the 3920/3940XM. If you don't plan on overclocking then the 3840QM will be a good upgrade from the 3610QM with the extra cache and boost clock. 

Sorry to butt in, but I also have an M17x R4 and was very happy to hear that it could potentially run a 1070. I have a couple questions about that particular upgrade, if you don't mind answering. I have a NVIDIA 675m and the corresponding heatsink. Will this heatsink line up with the 1070, and should it provide adequate cooling? I recently ran a GPU test and my 675m ran at 100% utilization, and only averaged about 65 Celsius. Also where could I get said drivers to run a 1070 with my M17x R4?

Thanks so much,

         StripeySnake

For the 1070 upgrade it is usually suggested to have the 120Hz display. I have heard that the upgrade is possible with the 60Hz and Unlocked BIOS but I couldn't say for sure. 

The 675M came with the 3-pipe heatsink so it is still fine to use for the 1070. You can also use the custom 5-pipe heatsink that was made for the 17 R1 but you may need an extra copper shim to fit between the die and heatsink. Take a look at this thread.

http://forum.notebookreview.com/threads/m17x-r4-1070-succesfull-upgrade-2020-tutorial.833339/

There are different styles of 1070 so you just have to make sure you get the standard MXM 3.0b card and not the MSI card that has an extra piece of PCB sticking out the side. The MSI card will still work but you will need to do chassis and heatsink modifications to get it to fit. 

You will need to run a modded Nvidia driver on the 1070. There are guides out there on how to mod a driver or I can whip one up in 5-10 minutes.

https://null-src.com/posts/nvidia-notebook-driver-inf-mod/post.php

Thank you SO much! I have the 60hz Panel, but was probably going to upgrade to a 120hz before the GPU upgrade. I also might wait to do some of this, since 1070's aren't that cheap, and i'll probably upgrade the CPU first. my CPU is decent, but it's not overclock able, and often has to turbo pretty far to run most programs. Don't worry i already have the 2 pipe heatsink. Can I just say that the M17x R4 has by far the simplest and most elegant basic access of any laptop i've ever seen. I mean the thing opens like a server.

Thanks so much!

               StripeySnake

thats pretty good,

just make sure if you get a overclockable cpu its the ones here:

https://downloads.dell.com/manuals/all-products/esuprt_laptop/esuprt_alienware_laptops/alienware-m17x-r4_reference%20guide_en-us.pdf

and its the 3940MX which is the maximum.

I already modded my alienware 18 with an RTX 2080 11Gb model from a Clevo.

I have the 4940MX at 4.2GHz.

hi i would like to upgrade this same laptop to run vr would that be possible ive pasted what in the computer below

Operating System
Windows 10 Pro 64-bit

CPU //////Intel Core i7 3630QM @ 2.40GHz 51 °C

Ivy Bridge 22nm Technology

RAM
32.0GB Dual-Channel DDR3 @ 798MHz (11-11-11-28)

Motherboard
Alienware M17xR4 (U3E1)

Graphics
Generic PnP Monitor (1920x1080@60Hz)
Intel HD Graphics 4000 (Dell)
2048MB ATI AMD Radeon HD 7970M (Dell) 53 °C
CrossFire Disabled

Storage
223GB Crucial CT240BX500SSD1 (SATA (SSD)) 33 °C
931GB TOSHIBA MQ01ABD100 (SATA ) 48 °C

Optical Drives
HL-DT-ST DVDRWBD CA40N

Audio
Sound Blaster Recon3Di

From what I can see, it's suggested to have at least a GTX 1060 for most VR systems. You are also best to upgrade your CPU to a higher 3rd gen mobile processor (maybe the 3840QM). 

The 10 series cards work best with the 120Hz display but I believe you can get them working with the 60hz display but you will need to flash the unlocked BIOS so you can switch to PEG mode.

It may be better (cheaper) to sell your R4 and grab a laptop that already meets the specs that you need for VR. Personally, I enjoy upgrading these older laptops so I'd try and get your R4 up to spec. 

This is my first time upgrading parts of a laptop so I want to make sure I don't mess up anything. I see that i can upgrade the graphics card and the ram for the laptop pretty easily. I have two quick questions on those two.

1. Would most of the graphics card i see on newegg like 970m or things of that nature, would it work as long as it says there is a x-bracket with it?

2. When upgrading RAM, do I have to remove the secondary module or replace them too? Can I just replace the primary ones and remove the secondary ones? I am a bit confused on that since I only want 16g of ram. I am trying to figure out if i need to buy two 8gb sticks or four 4gb sticks. 

Thanks ahead of time.

Yes, pretty much all of the 970M cards should work for you. Are you able to post a picture of it? You will need a modded Nvidia driver though as the laptop was never designed to run anything past the GTX 680M. I can help with this if you need. 

If your machine came with the 660M then you may only have the 2-pipe GPU heatsink. You are best to upgrade this to the 3-pipe one to help keep your temps down. 

It's best to run the same RAM and not mix different modules. Personally, I would use 2x8gb sticks in the two slots that are under the keyboard and then keep the other two slots free for later. These laptops only run dual channel memory so using all 4 slots will not give you quad channel (like a desktop would do). 

Thank you for the response and helpfulness.

I was thinking of something like this:

https://www.newegg.com/p/2S7-05BC-0CKH8?Description=gtx%20980m&cm_re=gtx_980m-_-9SIAN7RBR20604-_-Product&quicklink=true 

So it would also depend on which graphics card I have that I would have to get an extra heat sync that has 3 pipes. I will lookin into getting that also.

Thank you ahead of time with the Nvidia drivers mod. I will definitely need some help on that.

I will also look into your suggestion of the RAM sticks. I will probably get a better answer on all of the hardware things by tomorrow since I can have access to it by then.