Help Needed with CD Burner/CD-Rom Mess-up!

I am pleading for some help, I hope someone here can put me back on the right track!

I added a Sony CD burner to my Dell Dimension 4500, but I think I have several issues working against me.

• The first is that neither the CD-burner nor the original CD-Rom is being recognized by the computer.  The CD-burner has power and opens up.  The CD-Rom appears to have power—it whirls but won’t open, almost as if it’s stuck on something.
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• The IDE cables seem to be correctly connected, but I could be mistaken.  There is a black tab that has a smaller head and looks to fit only the hard drive.  There is an orange tab that I have plugged into both CD drives.  A blue tab goes to the A drive and it physically secured to that bay, so I don’t think it would go anywhere else.
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• As far as the power wires, P8 is being used by the top bays and P3 is going into the A drive.  There are wires attached to P8 coming from the second bay/CD-burner that go directly into the hard drive.  Again, from what I can tell, the power wire configuration isn’t a factor, but I could be dead wrong on that assumption.
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• Here is what I think the crux of the problem is, but for the life of me cannot figure out how to configure properly.  When I start the computer, I get a BIOS error that reads, “Secondary Slave Drive—ATAP Incompatible” after which I have to hit the DEL key for setup, etc.
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• It’s probable that I have the slave/master settings messed up and I don’t know how to configure them.  I got frustrated today and removed a tiny white tab from the back of the drive and another tiny green one as well.  Not only is that configuration probably wrong, but I am not clear on setting the jumper to cable.  Everyone (including the Dell instructions) says to do it, but no one explains how it’s done.

Please help!  My hubby needs to install new software and I’d at least like to get our CD-Rom working again.  Getting the new burner working at the same time would be the icing on the cake!  (Well, actually, getting those done as well as the wireless router I’ve installed to connect to my other computer would be ideal, but that’s a whole other issue. ;))